There goes my nightmare.

Assalamualaikum.

Fuh . Akhirnya. Ada masa nak update blog. Setelah sekian lama. Baru jumpa kekuatan sikit. So, yguys really know what im going to write about. Huaa my sadness starts to come back suddenly. Okay, you can do this myna. You can do this. So basically, first i want to ask some forgiveness for you guys who banyak tolong bagi semangat selama ni. Thanks I izz so terharu. Without youguys, probably im still berada di dalam kemurungan yang berpanjangan . Erm gitew. Thank u for all the positive vibes and quotes , saying that there's something good in every single thing that already happened. Thanks for all the " jangan sedih myna " and " dont think about him " and " masa depan penting lagi ". And not to forget too " you'll get someone better " . I really appreciate those words .

So let's start.

There goes my nightmare-the fear of losing someone I love. Finally it comes to an end. Dont ask me why , I also cant answer your question quite well because the explanation I got was like that too. No I mean , not only his fault. I dont want to blame anyone. This is our fault together. 3rd June 2015 is the date that I'll remember . Sorry I cant easily let go of the people that gave me so much , so much things for me to remember. The memories are hunting me now. I cant run away from them. I cant stop loving someone just because that someone asked me to do so. Tipu kalau cakap tak sedih . Tak sehari pun yang berlalu aku tak teringatkan dia. Even before the break. Still , perasaan tu masih ada but what can I do. Takkan nak begging bila hati dia dah tak nak , tak sayang kita dah. He said he didnt love me anymore. The feeling just faded away. Kinda weird actually but that's not imposibble. If Allah SWT can give that feeling of love to someone , He can take it back,, right? Everything can happen in just one day. Everything can happen under Allah's will kan?

Okay , you guys have to be grateful because this is the positive side in me writing . If I let my emo demons part in myself to write then IDK maybe this entry will be ruined.

I love you , you are the part of me. You said you'll love me no matter what. You said please wait for you , maybe for 5 or 6 years until you got a job. Believe me , I still remember your tweet late back in 2013. You said to them that I'm your half . You said to me that I had took half of your heart away. Half A Heart haha remember that song you gave me? You said you miss me, really miss me. You wished that night the princess was me, well I guess. And I had become one of them. Which I think they had voted me because of you. You had promised my friend that you wont hurt me. You had promise you wont leave me. You oftenly asked those people to kirim salam rindu to me. Which when I received that , I feel so happy and at the same time, hating the distance that separate us. You're the first guy that I had seriously fall in love with . Even when I wanted to hate you , I cant. I cant even do that. Your shadows are always there, our memories , I can bear the feeling of missing you by remembering them. You are always there on my mind. Tell me how im gonna live without them?

Pheuw , okay. I know I get too attached to someone. I know . You can judge me for that .
( to readers )

Tell me how im gonna live my life at school , living with all the things you gave me that can remind me of you. Throw them away? I wont. I wont do that. Tak sampai hati. The notes you gave, they still in my locker. I hang them somewhere that I can clearly see. The kitty , the picture. Our one and only picture yeah I know. You know what? about 6 months I'll face the SPM. I hope I'll hv that someone who can give me supports even just from words , eventhough he live far far away from me. I want to hv that someone. I want to live like the older days, but right now I'll take your place. I'll be the form five. Entah. Dah nak ramadhan , still remember the memories masa 2013 dulu? Sorry I know Im such a loser sebab xleh move on dari benda benda ni but I just cant help myself.

I miss the 2013 and the 2014 you. The suprise that you gave me during my birthday......and Im truly sorry I cant reply those things same like that during yours. I thought maybe I will do the same for you in future but........hmp. This year , yeah I know there's something wrong with your wish. It's just ..... plain . And weird . And I already doubted the necklace you gave. You already knew that is the last present from you to me right :') I thought my birthday this year would be like last year but I was wrong. Sorry for hoping too much. Why you didnt say this thing when you came to see me , a week before my birthday ? Why until that day you still gave me a hope that you were still the same guy I knew before? So I thought evrything was okay because at least.....you wanted to see me. You knew that was the last time you'll do that right :") Why didnt you tell me ......................

If the distance change you then, that is not love. If my imperfections change you then, it's not love. I know Im such a loser but sirysly , I knew before this you can accept all my flaws. And Im really thankful with that. Or my thought was wrong? Sorry for being a typical girl , who didnt like smokers or everything same like that but actually I dont really mind. Even if I dont like it I just diam bcs my love for you is bigger that those things. No , not to show that im perfect enough here readers, no. He's such a good man because he can accept all my flaws before and he's a really patient person with me. Maybe , just maybe my flaws are too much for him to handle but I dont know. I just assume. You said you dont want to hurt me even more right. Yeah I admit that I am always terasa when you took pictures with another girls, wearing another girl's hair band at your hand , decribing another girl so perfectly written. Perempuan mana yang tak jeles :") I feel like im nothing to you . Even you didnt want to take a picture with kan yeah I know its okay. If you really love me (like you said before) you can try to change , not to show your rapatness with them in front of me . Sometimes im like that too with boys but sometimes to even upload our picture together pun fikir dua kali. Takut terasa ke apa. But when you do that to me , I feel like if Im the only one who wants to jaga your feeling pun tak jadi apa kan. I know im a boring person . I know youre happy now living as a single guy, living with your brossss okay then. Anything for your happiness . I let you go but to stop loving you , sorry you cant force me to do that.

Me myself dont know when I cant totally ease this feeling , chase it away forever. Tapi buat sementara masa ni memang I cant lah . School. There's so much memories there. So much T^T Orang cakap memang senang. And I wont object all your kind of nasihat bcs I know they are good for me. It's just......it's hard to let go. Im still trying. The hardest time is when I want to go to sleep and at that time all the memories are played well on my mind.

You know Im not that strong . You know that but why......still....you do this to me............

How can people move on eah?

I know that in life, people come and go. Every beginning has an end. Every story has an end.
But I never thought that it is now.

And when I need him the most , he's gone.

Im still hoping that we will meet again in the future. Maybe when we are better to each other. Dont worry, it is just a hope. Im really a daydreamer. Nothing of them really happens. If you found someone who suits you more, I hope you will love her more than you love me. And you wont hurt her, like what you did to me. Okay ? :')

I swear this is the worst holiday ever TT^TT

You know what all of our memories , I wrote them all in a book. No, dont ask me to throw it away. I wont. I'll keep it .

Selagi ada masa, selagi tu ada harapan , kan?

Bye,Md Muhaimin. Live your life well. I really wants to know where are you going to continue your study soon. You said we can still be like the typical junior and senior thing right :") Dont forget Him. &&&& last goodnight text from me ; Goodnight , sleep tight , dont let the bed bugs bite :)

Done.

Lusa sekolah already, Doakan saya kuat untuk tempuh SPM.

There goes my nightmare.

myna.

There goes my nightmare.

Assalamualaikum.

Fuh . Akhirnya. Ada masa nak update blog. Setelah sekian lama. Baru jumpa kekuatan sikit. So, yguys really know what im going to write about. Huaa my sadness starts to come back suddenly. Okay, you can do this myna. You can do this. So basically, first i want to ask some forgiveness for you guys who banyak tolong bagi semangat selama ni. Thanks I izz so terharu. Without youguys, probably im still berada di dalam kemurungan yang berpanjangan . Erm gitew. Thank u for all the positive vibes and quotes , saying that there's something good in every single thing that already happened. Thanks for all the " jangan sedih myna " and " dont think about him " and " masa depan penting lagi ". And not to forget too " you'll get someone better " . I really appreciate those words .

So let's start.

There goes my nightmare-the fear of losing someone I love. Finally it comes to an end. Dont ask me why , I also cant answer your question quite well because the explanation I got was like that too. No I mean , not only his fault. I dont want to blame anyone. This is our fault together. 3rd June 2015 is the date that I'll remember . Sorry I cant easily let go of the people that gave me so much , so much things for me to remember. The memories are hunting me now. I cant run away from them. I cant stop loving someone just because that someone asked me to do so. Tipu kalau cakap tak sedih . Tak sehari pun yang berlalu aku tak teringatkan dia. Even before the break. Still , perasaan tu masih ada but what can I do. Takkan nak begging bila hati dia dah tak nak , tak sayang kita dah. He said he didnt love me anymore. The feeling just faded away. Kinda weird actually but that's not imposibble. If Allah SWT can give that feeling of love to someone , He can take it back,, right? Everything can happen in just one day. Everything can happen under Allah's will kan?

Okay , you guys have to be grateful because this is the positive side in me writing . If I let my emo demons part in myself to write then IDK maybe this entry will be ruined.

I love you , you are the part of me. You said you'll love me no matter what. You said please wait for you , maybe for 5 or 6 years until you got a job. Believe me , I still remember your tweet late back in 2013. You said to them that I'm your half . You said to me that I had took half of your heart away. Half A Heart haha remember that song you gave me? You said you miss me, really miss me. You wished that night the princess was me, well I guess. And I had become one of them. Which I think they had voted me because of you. You had promised my friend that you wont hurt me. You had promise you wont leave me. You oftenly asked those people to kirim salam rindu to me. Which when I received that , I feel so happy and at the same time, hating the distance that separate us. You're the first guy that I had seriously fall in love with . Even when I wanted to hate you , I cant. I cant even do that. Your shadows are always there, our memories , I can bear the feeling of missing you by remembering them. You are always there on my mind. Tell me how im gonna live without them?

Pheuw , okay. I know I get too attached to someone. I know . You can judge me for that .
( to readers )

Tell me how im gonna live my life at school , living with all the things you gave me that can remind me of you. Throw them away? I wont. I wont do that. Tak sampai hati. The notes you gave, they still in my locker. I hang them somewhere that I can clearly see. The kitty , the picture. Our one and only picture yeah I know. You know what? about 6 months I'll face the SPM. I hope I'll hv that someone who can give me supports even just from words , eventhough he live far far away from me. I want to hv that someone. I want to live like the older days, but right now I'll take your place. I'll be the form five. Entah. Dah nak ramadhan , still remember the memories masa 2013 dulu? Sorry I know Im such a loser sebab xleh move on dari benda benda ni but I just cant help myself.

I miss the 2013 and the 2014 you. The suprise that you gave me during my birthday......and Im truly sorry I cant reply those things same like that during yours. I thought maybe I will do the same for you in future but........hmp. This year , yeah I know there's something wrong with your wish. It's just ..... plain . And weird . And I already doubted the necklace you gave. You already knew that is the last present from you to me right :') I thought my birthday this year would be like last year but I was wrong. Sorry for hoping too much. Why you didnt say this thing when you came to see me , a week before my birthday ? Why until that day you still gave me a hope that you were still the same guy I knew before? So I thought evrything was okay because at least.....you wanted to see me. You knew that was the last time you'll do that right :") Why didnt you tell me ......................

If the distance change you then, that is not love. If my imperfections change you then, it's not love. I know Im such a loser but sirysly , I knew before this you can accept all my flaws. And Im really thankful with that. Or my thought was wrong? Sorry for being a typical girl , who didnt like smokers or everything same like that but actually I dont really mind. Even if I dont like it I just diam bcs my love for you is bigger that those things. No , not to show that im perfect enough here readers, no. He's such a good man because he can accept all my flaws before and he's a really patient person with me. Maybe , just maybe my flaws are too much for him to handle but I dont know. I just assume. You said you dont want to hurt me even more right. Yeah I admit that I am always terasa when you took pictures with another girls, wearing another girl's hair band at your hand , decribing another girl so perfectly written. Perempuan mana yang tak jeles :") I feel like im nothing to you . Even you didnt want to take a picture with kan yeah I know its okay. If you really love me (like you said before) you can try to change , not to show your rapatness with them in front of me . Sometimes im like that too with boys but sometimes to even upload our picture together pun fikir dua kali. Takut terasa ke apa. But when you do that to me , I feel like if Im the only one who wants to jaga your feeling pun tak jadi apa kan. I know im a boring person . I know youre happy now living as a single guy, living with your brossss okay then. Anything for your happiness . I let you go but to stop loving you , sorry you cant force me to do that.

Me myself dont know when I cant totally ease this feeling , chase it away forever. Tapi buat sementara masa ni memang I cant lah . School. There's so much memories there. So much T^T Orang cakap memang senang. And I wont object all your kind of nasihat bcs I know they are good for me. It's just......it's hard to let go. Im still trying. The hardest time is when I want to go to sleep and at that time all the memories are played well on my mind.

You know Im not that strong . You know that but why......still....you do this to me............

How can people move on eah?

I know that in life, people come and go. Every beginning has an end. Every story has an end.
But I never thought that it is now.

And when I need him the most , he's gone.

Im still hoping that we will meet again in the future. Maybe when we are better to each other. Dont worry, it is just a hope. Im really a daydreamer. Nothing of them really happens. If you found someone who suits you more, I hope you will love her more than you love me. And you wont hurt her, like what you did to me. Okay ? :')

I swear this is the worst holiday ever TT^TT

You know what all of our memories , I wrote them all in a book. No, dont ask me to throw it away. I wont. I'll keep it .

Selagi ada masa, selagi tu ada harapan , kan?

Bye,Md Muhaimin. Live your life well. I really wants to know where are you going to continue your study soon. You said we can still be like the typical junior and senior thing right :") Dont forget Him. &&&& last goodnight text from me ; Goodnight , sleep tight , dont let the bed bugs bite :)

Done.

Lusa sekolah already, Doakan saya kuat untuk tempuh SPM.

There goes my nightmare.

myna.