Happy Birthday Baby !

Assalamualaikum.

So , people. This aint gonna be my post , because this post belongs to my sweetness.

The first time I saw you, I was so mesmerized. It was because your two dimples were so attractive. They were so deep like you were having two holes on both on your cheeks. And when you smiled, people could clearly saw them. People said that you were cute , beautiful, tall and thin. Especially when you went up to our study room with your red shawl. You always wore that shawl back in the old days. And they said you were very very effortlessly smart. Of course , the first freshie that managed to get your name in the top, in the list of after-exam positions. How could we did not talked about you? I barely knew you last year. But that did not mean we were completely strangers. No. You knew how to do silly jokes and talked about kpops and bigbang. You were not nerd. You were so cool.

This year , we became so overly attached with each other. I wonder why ? You were so nice. That night when I was fell sick , you scold me for sleeping outside. You asked me to go to sleep inside your dorm. You took care of me. Like a mother took care of his daughter. Like a sister took care of his younger sister. Like a bestfriend took care of her bestfriend. So blessed to have you around. And you had a very good talent in , well you know, writing novels and deep words. I love to read them. Sometimes I did not understand what were you writing about but I still keep on reading them. Just for you to know that I love people with words , and quotes , and deep thoughts.

Sometimes I feel like I was a bad influence to you. Me, The unsmart , unprofessional. Sometimes I did not talked to you. Because I did not want to bother you with your studies. I wanted to give you some spaces to do what you wanted to do because you were that organized girl. You knew what you wanted to read everynight. Remember when you told me that you wanted to read biology and ended up at least one chapter of them before sleep? Yeah. And sometimes I think you were so fed up with me. I did not know why too. Maybe bcs I think that you were so perfect , compared to me. Sorry. Deeply sorry for acting dumb like that. We love to sleep together. Remember when the first time I sleep on your bed? And when we slept at Bella's dorm. You , me and her-perfect trio. I love both of you. Oh remember the "level-up" game? hahahahaha so obviously funny. You are my mereput partner always !  And masa polis mari sekolah tuh I sat beside you, masa open your eyes programme pun I sat beside you. Yep , we were so overly attached you know !

Thank you for teaching me in addmath. The old days, outside my dorm , until 1:am in the morning. Sometimes we talked about something else gak bila tengah buat addmath tuh hewhew. Okay, already got your VIP lightstick? You said you wanted to ask Bella send it to you. I really thought we could went to her house during this holiday, but....................hmp. Kesembangan cuma tinggal kesembangan. Palli , it's not raining heavily already. Lets have a short getaway ! I really need a vacation especially with you~~~ big bad wolf is waiting for us baby ! * emojisukasampaimenangis

I cant stand it watching you crying. Senang sangat tersentuh bila tengok mu nangis. Because it feels true. It feels truly sad. Mana pernah mu  nangis before aite. Malam kita salam salam tu , you cried &&& I really want to comfort you at best. Jangan nangis Shiqin , nanti kita jumpa balik, InsyaAllah. One day when I found a tall girl as a lawyer have a handsome husband and three kids, I will know that she is you kikikiki.

You know Shiqin , I screw up my SPM papers. So truly truly bad. I just hope that I'll get straight As. Maybe yes , or maybe no. And my addmath paper...........thank you Shiqin for that hug when I was crying at the surau right after Addmath paper. you said "kita dah buat bahagian kita, tinggal kat Allah je untuk buat bahagian dia." Ya Allah so sweet of you :') Thank you Shiqin thank you so much :')

Okay , enough of the throwback.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIQIN ! May Allah bless you in wherever you are , whatever you do. Sedih sangat sebab dah lame tak dengar suara mung ngan peluk mung. Where are you SHIQIN? Balik rumah terus senyap :"( Takpelah I knew you ll read this. Semoga boleh jadi lawyer yang hebat. Boleh sambung study luar negara. Nanti gy oversea jangan lah lupa akuh, manusia yang so overly attached with you sampai wrote two appreciation posts in your notebook ihihihihi*ketawa sopan* Jangan lah lupa kenangan kenangan kita okies baby. Especially masa SPM ~~ semoga bahagia tau Shiqin. Kalau tak dengan Lemi pun biarlah dengan Seannie, kalau tak dengan Seannie pun biarlah dengan someone yang you know he loves you very very much. Kita kan dah janji nak move on sama sama, ingat?  Be good in uni's life tau I wont be there but jangan lah lupa akuh yang manja ini. ( walaupun lagi tua dari mu huhuhuhu ) Bye, forever love , ILY XOXO

Thanks sebab mintak appreciation post dalam blog akuh. You're the first person ! Thnks sbb faham deep deep frust akuh segala. I want to meet you in future baby, please :'(

your fav "kesembangan terserlah" girl,

mynn

Stupidity.

Assalamualaikum people. Hye , im back. 

It is a two days holids after a month . After raya , after trial . After everything that menyerabutkan kepala. Balik berehat kejap before sambung perjuangan yang belum selesai dan semakin hampir. Hampir dengan tarikhnya. Theres a lot of things that i want to share with you guys but , i dont know how to start . My trial result , it hancuss . Sedih bila fikir balik . Masa trial harituh akuh buat main main . Akuh langsung tak ready . Tak de pun dalam otak akuh ni macam what the heck self , what the heck are you doing? this is trial already , SBP trial. This is your future ! - takde. Akuh tak rasa pun tu trial , akuh tak tahu kenapa . Bila akuh tak rasa , memang akuh tak struggle kan. Orang lain makin tinggi , akuh je menjunam jatuh ala ala nak buat skydiving. Result akuh hampeh , layak buat lap meja je. Kadang , akuh terfikir . Sebab apa eah? Ni nak mula muhasabah diri ni. adakah sebab .... perkara itu? Yang buatkan akuh hilang semangat macam ni. Tapi sumpah lah weyh masa exam harituh akuh takde semangat gila. Akuh pun tak tahu mana nak cari semngat tuh . I lost myself , serious. Akuh , bukan diri akuh yang struggle gila nak mati time exam tuh . Akuh rasa bodoh sangat. Ya Allah , bantulah hambaMu ini T^T 

I want to call my mom everyday , kalau boleh , sebab nak dapat semngat tuh. Tapi akuh tak nak dia risau. Mana pernah dibuatnya akuh call dia tiap tiap hari kan. Nak contact some people yang boleh bg akuh some kind of nasihat, tapi akuh tak bawak phone. Akuh rasa lifeless , dan akuh rasa takda orang sayang akuh. Akuh rasa serabut , a real serabut macam banyak benda sangat dalam kepala padahal akuh tak tahu pun ape bende semua tuh . Itu yang akuh rasa sekrang jugak. Pada saat ini , saati akuh nak gi sekolah semula ni. Akuh tak sanggup ambil result. Arituh dah kena ngan cikgu. Bodoh. Orang lain pun tak dapat result cam kau , bodoh. Eh bukan lah cikgu ckp macam tuh kau jgn salah phm pulak. Tuh akuh cakap kat diri akuh sendiri sebenarnya. Akuh malas nak layan manusia. Ceh, manusia pun malas nak layan akuh. Akuh demam masa malam bio ade dormmates akuh ever peduli? Nasib ade syiraz and those first floor girls. Dapat gak akuh menumpang kasih sayang haa gitu. At least tnye lah, ade yg tak kene? demam ke , ape ke. Lol. Maybe sbb akuh xbuat cmtuh kt org kut. Sebab tuh org tak buat camtuh kat akuh. Bestfriends, are no longer bestfriends siaaaa. Kita dah berpecah, berpisah. Masing masing buat hal masing masing kan. Bagus la. Tak lama lagi dah nak berpisah. 

Sorry emo !! Akuh just cakap apa yang akuh rasa. Akuh nak diri akuh balik :((( Nak result akuh balik :(((( apa dah jadi , akuh pun tak tahu. terasa bengong gak ar . ive lost the track of days and dates. Akuh rasa nak balik rumah je. AKuh nak duk rumah, at least , i dont hv to deal with those kind of person. Aina je yg comfort akuh if i need some strength . Ma, i want to be beside you T^T akuh rasa nak givap , spm 64 hari agi .........camna akuh nak cover up segala? Serabut..........................Akuh rasa serabut...................................akuh rasa stress ! Satu , sebab result . Dua, sebab addmath dan benda yang akuh blur yang sewaktu dengannya. Tiga , SPM......Empat, kawan kawan akuh dulu mna weyh ! Serabut lah . Rasa macam selalu diketepikan . Ah stupid. Persetankan. Ambik lah semua kawan akuh ambik ! Aukh malas sangat nak balik..........akuh rasa malas nak cakap ngan diorang.....malu weyh malu ! Muka ni lah yg memalukan batch . Bodoh siaaa akuh ni. 

Kenapa hidup akuh jd macam ni? Kenapa hancur macam ni?

Surely this is the hardest part of my life, this year. Sabar , Tuhan bagi ujian tuh myna. Sabar. Kuatkan semangat kau demi semua orang yang nak tgk kau berjaya. Buktikan , kau boleh buat. People with the worst past creates the best future ape. Sabar , silap langkah sikit tuh . Sikit pun akuh tak tenang masa jawab papers arituh . Akuh rasa serabut , complicated semacam. AH, takkan spm pun nak jadi macam ni myna ?! move on lah , ingt ma ngan ayah. Ingt Allah SWT. 

Ya Allah , bring me my focus back because I feel so distracted these days. 

Ease my feeling, let him happy. Kill my thoughts , kill all my silly thoughts. 

complicated ,

mynn       

Happy Birthday Baby !

Assalamualaikum.

So , people. This aint gonna be my post , because this post belongs to my sweetness.

The first time I saw you, I was so mesmerized. It was because your two dimples were so attractive. They were so deep like you were having two holes on both on your cheeks. And when you smiled, people could clearly saw them. People said that you were cute , beautiful, tall and thin. Especially when you went up to our study room with your red shawl. You always wore that shawl back in the old days. And they said you were very very effortlessly smart. Of course , the first freshie that managed to get your name in the top, in the list of after-exam positions. How could we did not talked about you? I barely knew you last year. But that did not mean we were completely strangers. No. You knew how to do silly jokes and talked about kpops and bigbang. You were not nerd. You were so cool.

This year , we became so overly attached with each other. I wonder why ? You were so nice. That night when I was fell sick , you scold me for sleeping outside. You asked me to go to sleep inside your dorm. You took care of me. Like a mother took care of his daughter. Like a sister took care of his younger sister. Like a bestfriend took care of her bestfriend. So blessed to have you around. And you had a very good talent in , well you know, writing novels and deep words. I love to read them. Sometimes I did not understand what were you writing about but I still keep on reading them. Just for you to know that I love people with words , and quotes , and deep thoughts.

Sometimes I feel like I was a bad influence to you. Me, The unsmart , unprofessional. Sometimes I did not talked to you. Because I did not want to bother you with your studies. I wanted to give you some spaces to do what you wanted to do because you were that organized girl. You knew what you wanted to read everynight. Remember when you told me that you wanted to read biology and ended up at least one chapter of them before sleep? Yeah. And sometimes I think you were so fed up with me. I did not know why too. Maybe bcs I think that you were so perfect , compared to me. Sorry. Deeply sorry for acting dumb like that. We love to sleep together. Remember when the first time I sleep on your bed? And when we slept at Bella's dorm. You , me and her-perfect trio. I love both of you. Oh remember the "level-up" game? hahahahaha so obviously funny. You are my mereput partner always !  And masa polis mari sekolah tuh I sat beside you, masa open your eyes programme pun I sat beside you. Yep , we were so overly attached you know !

Thank you for teaching me in addmath. The old days, outside my dorm , until 1:am in the morning. Sometimes we talked about something else gak bila tengah buat addmath tuh hewhew. Okay, already got your VIP lightstick? You said you wanted to ask Bella send it to you. I really thought we could went to her house during this holiday, but....................hmp. Kesembangan cuma tinggal kesembangan. Palli , it's not raining heavily already. Lets have a short getaway ! I really need a vacation especially with you~~~ big bad wolf is waiting for us baby ! * emojisukasampaimenangis

I cant stand it watching you crying. Senang sangat tersentuh bila tengok mu nangis. Because it feels true. It feels truly sad. Mana pernah mu  nangis before aite. Malam kita salam salam tu , you cried &&& I really want to comfort you at best. Jangan nangis Shiqin , nanti kita jumpa balik, InsyaAllah. One day when I found a tall girl as a lawyer have a handsome husband and three kids, I will know that she is you kikikiki.

You know Shiqin , I screw up my SPM papers. So truly truly bad. I just hope that I'll get straight As. Maybe yes , or maybe no. And my addmath paper...........thank you Shiqin for that hug when I was crying at the surau right after Addmath paper. you said "kita dah buat bahagian kita, tinggal kat Allah je untuk buat bahagian dia." Ya Allah so sweet of you :') Thank you Shiqin thank you so much :')

Okay , enough of the throwback.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIQIN ! May Allah bless you in wherever you are , whatever you do. Sedih sangat sebab dah lame tak dengar suara mung ngan peluk mung. Where are you SHIQIN? Balik rumah terus senyap :"( Takpelah I knew you ll read this. Semoga boleh jadi lawyer yang hebat. Boleh sambung study luar negara. Nanti gy oversea jangan lah lupa akuh, manusia yang so overly attached with you sampai wrote two appreciation posts in your notebook ihihihihi*ketawa sopan* Jangan lah lupa kenangan kenangan kita okies baby. Especially masa SPM ~~ semoga bahagia tau Shiqin. Kalau tak dengan Lemi pun biarlah dengan Seannie, kalau tak dengan Seannie pun biarlah dengan someone yang you know he loves you very very much. Kita kan dah janji nak move on sama sama, ingat?  Be good in uni's life tau I wont be there but jangan lah lupa akuh yang manja ini. ( walaupun lagi tua dari mu huhuhuhu ) Bye, forever love , ILY XOXO

Thanks sebab mintak appreciation post dalam blog akuh. You're the first person ! Thnks sbb faham deep deep frust akuh segala. I want to meet you in future baby, please :'(

your fav "kesembangan terserlah" girl,

mynn

Stupidity.

Assalamualaikum people. Hye , im back. 

It is a two days holids after a month . After raya , after trial . After everything that menyerabutkan kepala. Balik berehat kejap before sambung perjuangan yang belum selesai dan semakin hampir. Hampir dengan tarikhnya. Theres a lot of things that i want to share with you guys but , i dont know how to start . My trial result , it hancuss . Sedih bila fikir balik . Masa trial harituh akuh buat main main . Akuh langsung tak ready . Tak de pun dalam otak akuh ni macam what the heck self , what the heck are you doing? this is trial already , SBP trial. This is your future ! - takde. Akuh tak rasa pun tu trial , akuh tak tahu kenapa . Bila akuh tak rasa , memang akuh tak struggle kan. Orang lain makin tinggi , akuh je menjunam jatuh ala ala nak buat skydiving. Result akuh hampeh , layak buat lap meja je. Kadang , akuh terfikir . Sebab apa eah? Ni nak mula muhasabah diri ni. adakah sebab .... perkara itu? Yang buatkan akuh hilang semangat macam ni. Tapi sumpah lah weyh masa exam harituh akuh takde semangat gila. Akuh pun tak tahu mana nak cari semngat tuh . I lost myself , serious. Akuh , bukan diri akuh yang struggle gila nak mati time exam tuh . Akuh rasa bodoh sangat. Ya Allah , bantulah hambaMu ini T^T 

I want to call my mom everyday , kalau boleh , sebab nak dapat semngat tuh. Tapi akuh tak nak dia risau. Mana pernah dibuatnya akuh call dia tiap tiap hari kan. Nak contact some people yang boleh bg akuh some kind of nasihat, tapi akuh tak bawak phone. Akuh rasa lifeless , dan akuh rasa takda orang sayang akuh. Akuh rasa serabut , a real serabut macam banyak benda sangat dalam kepala padahal akuh tak tahu pun ape bende semua tuh . Itu yang akuh rasa sekrang jugak. Pada saat ini , saati akuh nak gi sekolah semula ni. Akuh tak sanggup ambil result. Arituh dah kena ngan cikgu. Bodoh. Orang lain pun tak dapat result cam kau , bodoh. Eh bukan lah cikgu ckp macam tuh kau jgn salah phm pulak. Tuh akuh cakap kat diri akuh sendiri sebenarnya. Akuh malas nak layan manusia. Ceh, manusia pun malas nak layan akuh. Akuh demam masa malam bio ade dormmates akuh ever peduli? Nasib ade syiraz and those first floor girls. Dapat gak akuh menumpang kasih sayang haa gitu. At least tnye lah, ade yg tak kene? demam ke , ape ke. Lol. Maybe sbb akuh xbuat cmtuh kt org kut. Sebab tuh org tak buat camtuh kat akuh. Bestfriends, are no longer bestfriends siaaaa. Kita dah berpecah, berpisah. Masing masing buat hal masing masing kan. Bagus la. Tak lama lagi dah nak berpisah. 

Sorry emo !! Akuh just cakap apa yang akuh rasa. Akuh nak diri akuh balik :((( Nak result akuh balik :(((( apa dah jadi , akuh pun tak tahu. terasa bengong gak ar . ive lost the track of days and dates. Akuh rasa nak balik rumah je. AKuh nak duk rumah, at least , i dont hv to deal with those kind of person. Aina je yg comfort akuh if i need some strength . Ma, i want to be beside you T^T akuh rasa nak givap , spm 64 hari agi .........camna akuh nak cover up segala? Serabut..........................Akuh rasa serabut...................................akuh rasa stress ! Satu , sebab result . Dua, sebab addmath dan benda yang akuh blur yang sewaktu dengannya. Tiga , SPM......Empat, kawan kawan akuh dulu mna weyh ! Serabut lah . Rasa macam selalu diketepikan . Ah stupid. Persetankan. Ambik lah semua kawan akuh ambik ! Aukh malas sangat nak balik..........akuh rasa malas nak cakap ngan diorang.....malu weyh malu ! Muka ni lah yg memalukan batch . Bodoh siaaa akuh ni. 

Kenapa hidup akuh jd macam ni? Kenapa hancur macam ni?

Surely this is the hardest part of my life, this year. Sabar , Tuhan bagi ujian tuh myna. Sabar. Kuatkan semangat kau demi semua orang yang nak tgk kau berjaya. Buktikan , kau boleh buat. People with the worst past creates the best future ape. Sabar , silap langkah sikit tuh . Sikit pun akuh tak tenang masa jawab papers arituh . Akuh rasa serabut , complicated semacam. AH, takkan spm pun nak jadi macam ni myna ?! move on lah , ingt ma ngan ayah. Ingt Allah SWT. 

Ya Allah , bring me my focus back because I feel so distracted these days. 

Ease my feeling, let him happy. Kill my thoughts , kill all my silly thoughts. 

complicated ,

mynn